Dream Sequence # 1

Posted: August 2, 2010 in dreams / fantasy

Last night I was running away from a man.  I realised I could not run any further, my breath not letting go of itself. The man cornered me at the back of a car park.    I fearfully waited, knowing I was going to die; that this was my end.

I watched the man gather himself as he stood tall and firm against snatches of the cruel light.  My eyes focused on his large strong hands for what felt like hours.  His hands then went out of sight for a split second and re-emerged with a gun as he moved towards me.

I fell to the ground and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, mumbling how I didn’t want to die. I looked up at the man stooped directly over me as he held the gun firmly and directly at my head, remembering the smell of steel.

Desolation swept into the core of me, hard.  It got into my guts forcing my weeping to turn into grieving cries, full of hurt and loss.  My cries evolved into gasping and wailing and screaming.  I was pleading with the man, on my knees, my hands held out to him like a prayer as he fired the gun up in the air telling me to shut up. 

I gazed into my hands, tear joining tear, bead joining bead of sweat, knowing I would never brush my hair again, never see him, her, thems, or us again, knowing I would not be able to hope for anything more or kiss again, or taste, sing, or smell rain again, or see the stars again, or touch or feel again…that everything would just stop. 

I started crying out to God, ‘Do something.  Where are you? I promise I will do right and make this world honest and good again.  I AM NOT DONE YET…I AM NOT FINISHED!’. 

And, as I felt like all hope was lost, that no saviour would come and save me, I sensed a shadow drop down in front of my pathetic whimpering body.  The man with the gun was telling the shadow to ‘Fuck off!’, whilst firing fearful, angry, lonely bullets up to the heavens.

I did not know what the shadow was but I remember looking at the ground again, at the hard concrete, the darkness moving all around me, and wondering if I would feel any pain, if anything at all….

If you were to dream this same dream, how differently would you feel? Would it challenge you? Upset you? Do nothing at all?

Although we cannot walk the same heights together or crumble to the ground the same way; although when I watch the same scene with you, you watch it differently, and although my touch is different to your touch and my sight is camouflaged in different ways to yours, I believe we have been made for the same purpose.

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