Dream Sequence #4

Posted: August 5, 2010 in dreams / fantasy

…Their voices constant and clear; each night they would say the same things to me, without fail.  “You will die old, deprived, miserable and alone, with no one to hold you because you will never be worthy of someone’s love.  Their love will bounce off you.  I am corrupting your already corrupt dreams, nightmares showing you what you really sense – you are foreseeing what is to come.  Under no circumstances listen to those that utter ‘I love you’, declare ‘You have so much beauty’, for these are all polluted smears, it is all slander.”  And I would awake and wonder ‘is this the truth of me?’

When I read these words to my mum, she got angry and tearful, and told me not to listen and to burn them.  So I went to the seafront late one night and put them to the flames; watching the paper flicker away, wondering if that would really work; banish the lies, burn them to ash.  But I kept a copy.  You do what you do regardless of what people advise.  You hold on to the lies and insecurities for security at times, the fear of change too much to bear.

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